Two Winter Hats

Grandmother (great) Manya lived in Odessa on Gogol Street in an old condo building. This house was adjacent to the architectural monument - the House of Scientists. Inside this house, there was a beautiful public staircase. Wide steps led upward from the spacious hall on the ground floor, twisting into a spiral. It was in this hall the events described below took place.

It was the usual Odessa winter. It was probably even snowing. Manya was returning home. Perhaps from the library, but history is silent about this. In any case, the starting point of her journey doesn't matter. So, she walked into the front door and froze. In the centre of the beautiful hall, in the romantic twilight, stood a man of overly obscene appearance. He was dirty and drunk. But the great-grandmother had seen a lot, so it wasn't this fact that made her dumbfounded. The point is that the stranger was relieving himself directly to the side wall of the luxurious staircase. And you should understand. He urinated not just on antiques but directly into Manya's soul.

"Young man," said the great-grandmother, choosing the proper arguments. "Making pee in a public place is awful."

I don't know if this man was young in reality or if, from the height of Manya's age, everyone seemed to her not old enough, but definitely he didn't respect this height. Without ceasing to enjoy his activity, he used several abusive expressions and advised my great-grandmother to get away. But Manya couldn't leave because she lived at the address where her opponent was currently urinating. That's why she didn't give up so easily. She stood near her rival (ignoring the process) and began lecturing him about good and bad manners.

So they stood near the ancient stairs. The man was silent and peed. Manya didn't stop talking. But all good things, like bad things, come to an end. An unfamiliar guy with bad manners also dried up. He buttoned up his trousers, turned to face my great-grandmother and hit her on the head. Then, he hid in an unknown direction.

The great-grandmother lost her balance and fell. Luckily, nothing was hurt except her pride. She independently reached her apartment on the third floor and called a doctor.

A few hours later, grandmother (great) Manya sat on the bed, surrounded by her relatives, listening to the doctor. The expression on her face was unduly sceptical. The relatives also were listening to the doctor, and what they heard horrified them.

"If your grandmother hadn't had two winter hats on, he would have broken her skull!" said the doctor.

After these words, everyone looked at Manya. They needed to make sure she realised the seriousness of the situation. In addition, the relatives wanted to know why she started talking with the dangerous stranger.

And Grandmother (great) Manya understood some important words were expected from her, shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, if I hadn't fallen, I would, of course, have caught up with him."